Family rules – not

Friday, May 11 2007

I have been telling myself more & harder for each day gone “this is working fine” and it was the first 3 days … now I am fed up with the inlaws. They are not bad people at all and my family is certainly not perfect, in fact far from it.

But I am so tired of all the negativity and nitpicking … it is so tedious to be around people like that. MH can be the same and that is tedious as well. He and I have acknowledge that our families are v different but I don’t like their family model with all that negativity and confrontation.

All of us have being to trying to work out what to do this final weekend and every suggestions have been put down. One of mine was to drive down to LA and being touristy – oh no 6h30min is too long and this from a person that doesn’t drive. Now there is no plans for the weekend. I feel that who ever comes with the idea is responsible for an successful day. I have given my 2 cent and will not add anything more.

When I have been over at their place, I find it stressful and can never fully relax. Everything has to be exactly as is it and if I leave something out of place – it gets pick up and commented on. My values are that these are their rules and I have to do what I can to respect it.

The same courtesy is not being fully returned. It is minor things but with everything else going on – it bugs me.

One comment that really pissed me off. It was that I should get a job so I could offload the pressure on MH (her son). This is from a woman that has not had a full time job in years, and when her husband became seriously sick – not even then did she get a job. She has her own small business but that is not sustainable enough to be living on the income.

I kept my cool and just um’d and ah’d at the appreciate places as I couldn’t see what good any confrontation would bring – as we all had to go back to our 1 bedroom flat.

Moving to SF was MH’s idea and initiative to 100%. One of my stipulations to move here was that the situation should never be dependent if I had a job or not as the visa situation is beyond my control. It is up to him to carry the financial burdens.

While writing this I am getting more concerned of becoming a housewives with all the traps of no income can bring. The inlaws are also sitting in the room next to me and that feels weird. And that MH will read this too.

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