lizze

1. Customer: ‘My mouse mat isn’t wired up’ Advisor: ‘I’m not sure I understand, your mouse mat shouldn’t have any wires.’ Customer: “well how does it know where my mouse is? Is it wireless?”

2. Advisor: “Press any key to continue.” Customer: “I can’t find the ‘Any’ key.”

3. Customer: “I keep getting inappropriate pop-ups on my computer and don’t want my wife to think that it’s me.” Advisor: “I will remove them for you.” Customer: “How do I get them back when she is not in?”

4. Customer: “I met a man on the internet, can you give me his phone number?”

5. Advisor: “You have spyware on your machine which is causing the problem.” Customer: “Spyware? Can they see me getting dressed through the monitor?”

6. Customer: “How do I change channel on my monitor?” Advisor: “Your monitor won’t have channels like a TV.” Customer: “But I was watching the internet channel the other day and now I just get the word processing channel.”

7. Advisor: “Can you click on ‘My Computer’?” Customer: “I don’t have your computer, just mine.”

8. Customer: “My 14 year-old son has put a password on my computer and I can’t get in.” Advisor: “Has he forgotten it?” Customer: “No he just won’t tell me it because I’ve grounded him.”

9. Customer: “I have lost my work.” Advisor: “Let’s see if we can get your documents back for you?” Customer: “You don’t understand, I’ve lost my job and I want to get on to the internet to find a new one.”

10. Customer: “My internet isn’t working” Advisor: “What modem are you using, is everything connected up?” Customer: “No I haven’t taken the computer or the modem out of their boxes yet!”

4 & 8 are my fav